So I’ve never been married, I’m just 20 and I’ll take another 7-8 years to get there at least and another 5 to mentally prepare myself for it so I am not in a position to give anyone tips on how to conduct their life post marriage or anything because it’s an alien zone completely, a very different experience altogether. That’s what I’ve seen around me and I feel it too. I’ve seen a lot of married couples around, the first being my parents obviously and even though I can’t exactly picture myself there right now, I can imagine the kind of things one would have to deal with post marriage. Even if you’re getting married to the love of your life, life after marriage isn’t the same. There are a hundred billion responsibilities, families involved, and you have to see each other through everything, which is wonderful and painful all at the same time. Entirely based on personal opinions, here’s my list of 10 ways to make your marriage last.
- 10. Stop building pressure on yourself
- 9. Try getting to know your partner more
- 8. Always keep work life and personal life at different ends
- 7. Don’t expect things you shouldn’t
- 6. Forgive and let go
- 5. Try not to drag your families into everything
- 4. Always share your feelings
- 3. Try to spice up your married life
- 2. Don’t plan children too early
- 1. Have your own life
10. Stop building pressure on yourself
Soon to get married people are often seen taking a lot of unnecessary stress about getting married in the first place. People have many pre conceived notions about marriage which they need to break before they step into it because at the end of the day, it’s just a relationship which shouldn’t seem like a burden to you, you should be willing to welcome it.
9. Try getting to know your partner more
This doesn’t only apply to those whose marriages are arranged, even those who marry their long time partners do not know everything about them. It’s very important to understand that seeing someone through sickness, health, in every mood possible and still wanting them just as much isn’t all that easy. You must take note of that.
8. Always keep work life and personal life at different ends
Do not mix your personal and work life at all. Don’t bring work stress home because it’s going to complicate things for no reason. Of course you can share your problems at work with your partner but don’t take out your work’s frustration on them. They don’t deserve that even If they vow to love you through everything no one likes unnecessary yelling.
7. Don’t expect things you shouldn’t
They married you, doesn’t mean they signed up for any pointless drama or that they HAVE to take the pains to understand every expectation you have from them and live upto it. It’s marriage, not a job or a task that you must do in order to achieve something. It’s just based on mutual accepting and understanding.
6. Forgive and let go
You’ll have your share of fights and arguments. You can’t marry your clone because in all likelihood you won’t find one and even if you do you may not like them as much as you’d imagine. Acknowledge your difference of opinion and that you are still individuals who are entitled to think and feel as they please, nobody should be deprived of that liberty. Forgive each other for trivial things and let go of it, just hold on to eachother.
5. Try not to drag your families into everything
Families and extended family scenes can get ugly. I’ve seen people dragging each other’s families into arguments and that never ever ends well. Argument should stay within the fine limits of one, and not cross it. Dealing with someone’s temper shouldn’t become a regular feature of your day.
Do not ever bottle up feelings inside, especially not after you’re married. It’s somebody who hasn’t seen you grow into who you are today you’re dealing with so they will not always know what you want and how you feel and what hurts you. It’ll take time and you should give it to them. Open up to them, let them in. No marriage can ever last if there’s too much miscommunication or just lack of communication at all.
3. Try to spice up your married life
Take your partner out for romantic dinners or do something different in bed. Make it a point to stay sexually active and make your partner feel as wanted as possible. Intimacy post marriage is one of the most important pillars of a happy married life. Don’t let the romance die out.
2. Don’t plan children too early
Take your time before planning children no matter how much you love kids. Once they enter your life it’s going to take a 360 degree turn and you’ll not be able to devote so much time to each other. So many couples get a divorce after having a kid and it really affects the kid psychologically. So, always plan kids well.
1. Have your own life
Don’t completely immerse yourself into your partner’s lives. Always have a separate social circle, have friends, colleagues and people you can confide in apart from your partner. Marriage isn’t a goal or a destination. It’s the journey and it may be a bumpy ride occasionally but if you embrace it with positivity you will find love and it’ll be a one of a kind experience too.