Magazines and Articles have long been symbolic of game-breaking ideas and radical journalism. But sadly enough the trait of human stupidity has caught up to us. Here are 10 harebrained magazines to prove the point.
10. Girls and Corpses
This magazine was initially started to parody the glitz and glamour world that has always been kept on a pedestal by the likes of Maxim and Cosmopolitan. But the cover itself tells you that it’s the kind of magazines that necrophiliacs keep under their pillow before crossing over to neverland (or their super-creepy version of it). If the magazine’s chief editor prefers the title ‘deaditor-in-chief’, you know what you’re in for before you subscribe. This magazine’s business policy surely reads, “Put a hot nude chick beside anything, and it’s gonna sell”. A magazine filled with gory murder stories, celebrity suicides and pictures of half-rotting corpses is certainly not taking humanity forward.
A quarterly magazine on FENCES! If that sounds galactically dumb, you’re not the only one. A look at this magazine is like riding the DeLorean back a hundred years and realizing you’re in the really uncool part of the past. Obviously, some bright guy thought writing about the sweet bond between wood and paint would be the next big thing in print media. This magazine is proudly brought to us by the American Fence Association, and has it’s own conventions in Las Vegas. The best it can do to bring us out of a bored reverie is to build fences out of chocolate, and give us free passes to the MGM Grand when it holds the next convention in Vegas.
8. Kohl Magazine
A luxury magazine aimed at the egoistic bourgeoise with egos bigger than their voluminous wallets. A magazine engraved with 600 diamonds and 90 grams of gold, with 86 man-hours going into it’s making. After all, who cares about the content as long as it glitters in sunlight? At an auction in Dubai, this magazine on oriental beauty fetched $10,000. The auctioneers probably high-fived and guffawed as the ‘elite’ bidders scrambled over each other to buy this ‘priceless’ mag.
7. Crappie World Magazine
No, it isn’t a magazine with a self-flagellating editor. But it is named after a kind of freshwater fish found in North American waters. The opinion is divided on whether it would’ve been a better option to have a self-flagellating editor than a magazine called Crappie World. If the next big discovery in hooks and lines are your thing, then it’s totally your thing. With articles on how to catch multiple baits at one go and how big billy caught his first big crappy, this magazine is one of a kind in more ways than one.
6. Garden and Gun
The title of this magazine is pretty self explanatory. In my honest opinion, it’s pretty awesome. One should surely know how to ward off uninvited guests with six shooters when you’re having a nice Sunday afternoon tea party in your exquisitely crafted garden. Gardens are a great place to relax, and somehow these guys manage to corrupt the purest forms of human relaxation by having a girl pose with a shotgun on the cover. Cheers to life.
5. The Bark
Oh how we all wish man’s best friend could talk. This magazine takes this fancy one step further and actually addresses the dogs in the first person. From curling a dog’s fur in 20 ways to celebrating a dog who got adopted on petfinder.com, this is the magazine to own for canines with great taste. Oh wait, they can’t read English can they? Oh well, that doesn’t stop anyone from letting their imagination run free.
4. Miniature Donkey Talk
Donkeys in a magazine? I’ll rephrase that. A magazine centered on donkeys?! The tagline of the magazine reads, “If you don’t subscribe to Donkey Talk, you’re not serious about donkeys!” My heart goes out to the contributors and subscribers of this magazine, but I’m just not one of those. Would you like to see a donkey and a mule in a Mexican standoff? If the answer is yes, this is your magazine. For those who have still got a semblance of sanity left, keep away.
3. Portable Restroom Operator
Yes, every discipline in the industry has a magazine tailor made to it’s interests. It’s logical, it’s useful, and a great platform for free exchange of ideas. And then you have Portable Restroom Operator. A magazine dedicated to helping people collect bodily waste in a more effective manner. If I was one of the unfortunate souls working in the porta potty industry, I probably wouldn’t bother to work on my job off the clock and write articles on it. But what the hell. These guys are special. Dedicated to advertising the latest in portable waste collecting tech. I doff my hat to them.
2. Serial Killer Magazine
My favourite piece in this magazine is titled “Is My Son a Serial Killer?” Yes, ladies and gentlemen. A magazine that describes in vivid detail the gruesome acts of serial killers spanning centuries and delivers such insightful articles as mentioned above. A magazine dedicated to the budding Ted Bundy’s across the globe. The website maintained by the magazine also declares that they have the best serial killer merchandise in the house, but for the life of me I can’t imagine why anyone would bother. Or maybe I hope no one does bother. Jack the Ripper, we can hear you shedding silent tears of joy in hell.
From what you’ve already seen on this article, I’m sure you’re not surprised. Yes, there’s a magazine on sheep. I’m not The Ungrateful One, and I am indebted to the sheep kind for keeping my winters warm. But a whole magazine on them is probably a bit more than I can handle. And of course, adding to my discomfort is the part that a certain section of mankind finds this breed to be arousing. Fleecing ship, going prices for various kinds of wool and the correct way to treat your sheep, this magazine has it all.